NEWS FLASH:
Administrative Assistant Enters Love Poetry Contest!
From staff reports
WOOSTER, OH -- In a surprise development, Diana Springer,
administrative assistant to the Department of Classical Studies (and
several other departments) at The College of Wooster, has submitted an
entry to the Greek and Latin Love Poetry Contest.
Observers from Eruption! Classics in the News were astonished at the
concise elegance of the entry, which runs as follows:
Dulcia amo. Cur multa dicam?
quae nobis parva gaudia parant
aeterna sunt.
{"I love sweets. Why should I say much about it?
The things that give us small pleasures are eternal."}
"She's like the mild mannered clerk who throws off his work clothes to
reveal a superman uniform," said an observer from Alive and Kicking
Latin and Greek Magazine. Ms. Springer admits that she has received no
formal training in the Latin language.
"It just came to me," she said, "like an inspiration from the Muses.
It helps, of course, that I do love candy, and that candy is the
contest prize..."
In contrast to less prescient observers, Rachel Sternberg, Chair of
Classical Studies, was delighted with the entry. "We all suspected that
there was more to Di than meets the eye,” she said, "and now we know.
As far as I’m concerned, this entry takes the lead."