Heading off to college for the first time can be a stressful and stormy experience, but it can also be exciting and enjoyable journey. Kurt Holmes, dean of students at The College of Wooster, offers some helpful advice and guidance for those who will be leaving home for the first time later this month.

Q. What are some of the most difficult adjustments that a first-year student must make in college?

A. College is a time of transition. Students in their first year have more in common with their senior classmates than they realize. Both of them are trying out new freedoms. The kicker is that with those freedoms come responsibilities. You can choose how late to say up at night, but you must also be sure that you can make it to class at 8 a.m. the next morning. You can eat and drink what you want, but you will live with the choice. You will make and lose friendships – choose wisely because we become the company we keep.

Q. How can a student prepare for the academic rigors and social pressures that come with college life?

A. I have a phrase I use with students the first time they "hit the wall;" Welcome to the NFL! The hits are harder, but the win can be greater. Remember what you want in life and what is important. Then look for opportunities to do those things. No matter what you do in life, be it theater, biochemistry, or business, you will communicate with others. Prepare your language skills and read, read, read. Language is the key to communication, regardless of the discipline. If you spent a couple of hours a night on homework in high school you had better plan on four in college. If you spent less than an hour a day, you should start to study now.

Q. What is the best way to build a positive relationship with a roommate?

A. To spin an old adage in a new way: You are not rooming with one person. You have three roommates: the person you think they are, the person they really are, and the person they will become as your roommate. Don’t live with your high school friend. If you are friends now you will double your circle of friends by each having a roommate. You and your roommate don’t have to be best friends. You don’t have to be in each other’s wedding. It is nice if that happens, but the important part is that you have a good relationship in a small room. If I could give one piece of advice as you look at your campus housing, it would be this: be honest when the college sends you a "Housing Preference Card" …if you smoke, admit it…if you have to study to music, tell them…it will be easier later.

Q. How should a student go about finding a compatible social group?

A. Don’t find a social group; don’t even try to find a friend. Just find your place on campus and let the rest fall into place. Too often we all try to be what we are not to meet perception of what some group wants. Be yourself and others will find you. One way to increase the odds is to try something new. You can take a scuba class, sign up for an acapella music group, or volunteer with a community agency. You will meet interesting people and a social group will follow. Also, don’t be fooled by lines that begin: "Everybody." As in, "Everybody drinks," "Everybody cuts class," or "Everybody cheats." In fact, not everybody does any of those things. Fewer students than the national media portray actually do any of those things. You’ll need to decide the group of which you are going to be a part.

Q. It there a good way to deal with, if not overcome, the feeling of being homesick?

A. Everybody gets some version of homesickness. When I travel, I still miss my family and the familiar. But as you start out in an entirely new world at college it is easy to get lost in that feeling of homesickness. The best cure is to get involved. It is hard to be homesick when you are busy. It might say something during orientation is optional. Go anyway. You will know more about the college, you’ll meet people, and you’ll drive away the blues. And remember, it’s okay to feel adrift at least a little. You wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t. People will tell you these are "the best years of your life!" They might well be, but they are also some of the scariest years of your life. That’s okay, too.

Q. Where can students find reliable advisors and counselors if they need help?

A. Remember that when you look for advice there are two definitions of that on a college campus. You’re Advisor with a capital "A" will help you with your academic planning and you should take full advantage of that resource. One of the quickest ways to get off track is to think you can schedule classes and plan a major without your faculty advisor. In the media you will also have heard about "the President’s advisors." That set of people who offer insight, perspective, and wisdom. At college these can be clinical counselors, other faculty members, and even Deans. But they can also be the groundskeeper, the departmental assistant, or the person at the cafeteria. They all have a perspective on the world and the problems that currently seem overwhelming. Never again will you have the chance to access this level of support services; take full advantage of them all.

A little side note for you Parents... "You will be very proud of your kids at graduation; So don’t be too hard on them at Family Weekend when they have been through three "majors" in a month, are sporting a new piercing, or they have long hair, no hair, or blue hair. They are just finding out who and what they want to become in life."

Things to consider when coming to college…

• Pack less than you think you’ll need. Stuff tends to grows at college.
• Study what excites you; it will be a long hard semester otherwise.
• Write a real letter once a week. "IM" is easy, writing is a commitment.
• Go to class – the easiest way to fail is to blow off class.
• Deadlines really are just that, deadlines.
• Read the newspaper, the world doesn’t stop because you are at college.
• Check your parents’ attic. They have some cool old stuff up there that will play well at school.
• Sign up to try something new. Serendipity is a powerful force.