Andrea Megan Hiebler-Pacino, the original Long Island Lolita, dreams of marrying a man at least fifteen years her senior.

She would like everyone to know that she finally started taking Women’s One-A-Day vitamins to prevent osteoporosis.

She resents people who go running in public because they remind her that she does not exercise on a regular basis.

She once dressed up as her childhood idol for a school project. Everyone thought she was Queen Elizabeth. She was Carol Burnett.

Favorite inversion: Andrea loathes rapid sprints in the desert.