After being found in an abandoned campground in the White Mountains of New Hampshire, Merritt "The Lumberjack" Smith was raised in the traditional Irish manor of neglect.  Merritt enjoys spending his time finding a solution cold fusion while solving rubix cubes blindfolded.  Often described as "A big, friendly, ill-tempered Saint Bernard" or simply "plouky."  After his failed marriage to Audrey Hepburn, Merritt has spent his time improving the lives of others with comedy and pop-rocks. Merritt looks forward to his road trip to the major breweries of Europe and Istanbul.